My family's home has been, as it is now, for almost forty years. It was always constant and indeed, a true HOME! No matter where everyone was or what we were doing, the home was where everyone I loved seemed to gather.
However, when I moved away to study, my adventurous spirit took over. I moved eight times in two and a half years but never settling happily. For some reason, I continued to find myself being drawn back to my family home. I used to excuse these whimsical trips home by claiming that I craved the fresh air or the ability to see the stars at night or even the home cooking. But of course, these were mere facades, when it was really the home that drew me back.
Since being married, a sense of home has become decidedly stronger. My time at home is full of precious moments of appreciating spontaneous dances with my husband and plans for the future. This is all exciting, but not quite what truly makes us desire to spend time at our own home.
We often comment how we greatly prefer hosting friends than going to a restaurant for dinner even with all the preparation and cleaning that comes with having guests. There is no way that I could pin point precisely what makes our home so desirable for us, but I have comprised a small list of what I strive to do to make our house a home.
1. Cleanliness is next to godliness!
I do not at all suggest that your house must be spotless at all times. That would be completely impossible and would send both yourself and those around you crazy. There is always going to be another spot of dust or dish to clean. However, it does mean that you must take pride in your space. Everyday, dedicate just five or ten minutes to cleaning 'something' in the house. Simply dust a cabinet, puff the pillows, clean the fridge. Also, make a list of things you try to get done everyday. I always try to ensure that all the dishes have been washed before I go to bed, or wipe over the bathroom sink after everyone has brushed their teeth. That way, a routine is established and when you do get behind (which you inevitably will at some point because, well.... LIFE!) a big cleaning day won't be quite so tiresome.
2. Home-cooked meals can not be overrated.
It may seem like a drag having to pull out pots and pans for every evening but with a little bit of practise you can figure out how to create one pot wonders and to make one cook up last over numerous nights. Cooking at home forces you to be present in your house and to really appreciate the food that you are eating. This leads on to the next point...
3. Establish a family meal time.
During weekdays it is natural (and often necessary) to be apart or at least doing separate activities. With busy lives it is hard to find quality time to spend together as a family. Establishing a meal time that is relaxed and free of electronic devices is ideal for catching up on everyone's day. Light a candle and present the table with care. This will improve the mood and help all those gathered to relax and to appreciate the effort put into the meal. Make sure that everyone remains at the table until all have finished eating so that it allows enough time to share experiences.
4. Put effort into small things.
I will never forget when I got married, I very proudly said to a lady (who had been married for over thirty years) that I was determined to have a minimal home. The lady laughed at me and stated "its not a loving home without stuff." This struck me as odd at first, noting that other people's homes that were cluttered really frustrated me and even made me feel anxious. However, I pondered this after opening hundreds of gifts after our wedding and realised that dishes and pictures that I never would have bought for myself, suddenly held a deeper meaning. The lady did not mean that clutter was necessary, but rather, objects that hold meaning and take care, make a home. This very soon expanded further from the original wedding gifts to perfectly hanging photos, collecting indoor plants, building a library of books and creating comfortable, lived in spaces. With time, I found myself investing in candles and always arranging flowers in different areas of the house. These were only small details, but when they were beheld, they gave a small spark of joy.
5. Communicate about your home.
My husband and I are both dreamers but are also very inclined to aesthetics. We often chat about what type of lamp would suit a particular corner or what colour table cloth would match the furniture. We very rarely get the opportunity to fulfil every idea that we have, but ultimately, we TALK about it. We spent almost two days deliberating over exactly where to hang our wedding photos and which frames to use. We built the shelf for our record player together and categorised all the records. We even went together to shop for a doona cover that we both liked. All these seem like small things but communicating about them makes sure that your home is your ‘family’ home!
Ultimately, all these tips are just 'things'. They are irrelevant steps unless they are gone about with love and care. Your house can be appear as homely as possible, but without a family in it, it will never be a home.
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