Motherhood is an extremely exciting but overwhelming part of life. One gives everything, physically and emotionally with often very little reward and hardly any recognition. Yet mothers are continually motivated and sustained by love. There is no better example of complete maternal self-giving than the Blessed Virgin Mary, particularly in her role as co-redemptrix. She stood with her Son through his entire passion and even laid him to rest in a borrowed tomb. Mothers know that the hardest thing to bear is watching your child suffer and being able to do nothing but simply be with them.
I was profoundly blessed to be born on one of Our Lady of Sorrows Feast Days and have always turned to her for guidance. But not until I became a mother also, did I truly find meaning in this title of hers. There are many menial ways in which we can attach our own daily sufferings to the sorrows of Our Lady
"Yea, a sword shall pierce through thy own soul" (Luke 2:35) We have all heard the stories of family with many children being asked at the grocery store "are all of them yours?" This comment and others like it are part and parcel of leaving the house (particularly if your children are noisy). Every mother knows that getting the children in and out of the car is a trial no matter how compliant everyone is but when a stranger scoffs and remarks "gosh, you're busy aren't you?" it makes this time even more difficult. Yet, when Simeon prophesies the future suffering of Mary, I am sure she was already aware that being the mother of the Word Incarnate was not going to be without its difficulties. As such, in those moments when the words of others are hurtful, we can ask Mary for ability to bear these with humility as she bore Simeon's prophecy.
"Arise, and take the young child and his mother, and flee into Egypt" (Matthew 2:13) We have heard many times that mothers' know what is best for their children and because of their very close physical connection, this is often the case. Nonetheless, the father is the head of the household. Very often I find myself ordering my husband about regarding what needs to be done with the children and when he suggests another course of action I become frustrated. Yet the angel did not come to Mary in a dream to tell them to flee to Egypt, the angel came to Joseph, the leader of the Holy Family. Especially when the days are long, the nights have been sleepless and you're feeling the pangs of exhaustion it is of great importance to pray for feminine submissiveness. Like Mary who quietly packed their things and travelled many miles at the instruction of Joseph, we must also follow the leader of our family in every moment.
"And when they found him not, they turned back again to Jerusalem, seeking him" (Luke 2:45) The whims of children are extremely distracting and overall, time-consuming. Often, I will rest at the end of the day and realise that my back is aching, my feet have blisters and this is the first time I have sat down since waking. It is very hard to remember to turn to God throughout such a busy schedule. One can begin to feel that God is no where near and He can not be found just as Mary could not find Jesus. Instead, pray to Our Lady for hope that God will give us the graces each day to strive to holiness and to bring our children to Him also.
"For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck." (Luke 2:29) Mary met Jesus on his road to calvary as He shared these words with the weeping women of Jerusalem. What anguish Mary must have felt as she saw her Beloved Son, carrying the cross on which He was to be crucified. The pains that women feel through the rising and falling of hormones, the changes in their body, the pain of childbirth and rearing, one can place oneself with the long-suffering Mary and her Son on the road to Calvary. Although this time is painful, it is the means to our salvation.
"Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother!" (John 19:27) With these near final words of Jesus before His death, he gives the whole word, His mother as our mother also. Nothing can amount to the affliction that a mother must feel at the loss of her child. Some women have felt this, some have experienced the pangs of miscarriage and carried on silently and still others deal with the constant grief of infertility or worry for the future. In this pain and torment, the only answer is Christ on the cross. May we always stand, as Mary did, gazing at her Son with grace-filled resoluteness.
"I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope." (Psalm 130:5) What misery Mary must have borne as Jesus was laid into her arms. Very often, we have to pick our children up so many times throughout the day. We must keep up their spirits, provide distraction, comfort them in pain with no time for ourselves to be comforted. When we go to bed, we know that it will be the same tomorrow but like Mary we must "wait for the Lord" for we can have confidence in His grace and will for us and our children to be with Him in Heaven.
"And he took it down, and wrapped it in linen, and laid it in a sepulchre that was hewn in stone, wherein never man before was laid." (Luke 23:53) As Mary prepared the burial place of Jesus, she must have remembered the night of His birth. In both this moment and that, Jesus did not even have a place to lay that was His own. He was wrapped in linen just as Mary must have swaddled and cradled him. Throughout the long nights of feeding, changing, swaddling and cradling one's infant, one can not but think of Mary caring for Jesus in much the same way. At each time of being awakened, we should turn to Mary for the patience she possesses to care for each child as they need.
I commend to each mother to develop a devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows. She is a figure of immense consolation to each and every daily trial that we must sacrifice. Furthermore, as handed to us but St Bridget, the following are promised to those who pray her Dolorosary:
I will grant peace to their families.
They will be enlightened about the divine mysteries.
I will console them in their pains and I will accompany them in their work.
I will give them as much as they ask for as long as it does not oppose the adorable will of my divine Son or the sanctification of their souls.
I will defend them in their spiritual battles with the infernal enemy and I will protect them at every instant of their lives.
I will visibly help them at the moment of their death, they will see the face of their Mother.
I have obtained from my divine Son, that those who propagate this devotion to my tears and dolors, will be taken directly from this earthly life to eternal happiness since all their sins will be forgiven and my Son and I will be their eternal consolation and joy.
(As found at https://osmm.org/devotion/devotion-our-lady-sorrows)
The Mother of God, the Theotokos, the Blessed Among Women is God's guide to sanctification through motherhood
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